We have been brought up to view and believe that all aspects of our lives are fragmented, isolated incidents and experiences. From a young age, especially as girls, we are conditioned not to trust our minds or our bodies, and certainly not encouraged to see the power of the connection between them. How many times have you been told; ‘eat all your tea, that's a good girl!’, ‘don’t act this way, that way, that’s a good girl’, ‘be scared and ashamed of your period’.
Such conditioning creates a huge disconnect from your mind and body that inevitably can show up in your preconception, pregnancy, birth and mothering journeys. The way society and the medical model of birth is set up leads us to feel, view and experience as though all four journeys are isolated incidents.
Yet we know that decisions you make in pregnancy can impact your labour and birth from the environment, nutrition, lack of preparation to who you have in your support team, which can inevitably impact your transition to postpartum. If there is trauma that can filter into your postpartum and beyond, likewise if there is joy it can have an impact.
What would happen if you shifted your focus?
Rachel Reed speaks so beautifully about self trust in her incredible book Reclaiming Childbirth as a Rite of Passage. When you have this you have what you need to navigate your birth, however that may unfold. Intuitive knowledge nurtured in pregnancy can help in birth, especially when your altered state of consciousness created by labour hormones impacts the neocortex, enabling your instinct to kick in. Just like in the luteal phase of your menstrual cycle, the high levels of progesterone in pregnancy promote inward focus and space for you to (re)connect with the mind and body.
Imagine if you shifted the framing, understanding and practice to look at and focus on your experiences as transitions with a focus on the power and connections within and across your preconception, pregnancy, birth and mothering journeys?
Imagine if you allowed your mind and body to connect, to truly listen to and engage with your intuition as you prepared for your pregnancy, birth and postpartum journeys. How would that feel for you?
What can I do to support connection in my journey?
If you have anxiety, depression, tocophobia (fear of childbirth) it is key that you have access to support that works for you. Some breathwork techniques may not feel safe, the same if you’re a survivor of sexual violence, being asked to close your eyes, focus on your breath and body may not feel safe and it is absolutely OK to step away.
Finding a practice and support that is trauma informed and someone who can hold space with and for you is so important so take your time to explore what feels OK for you.
Taking the time to truly focus and (re)connect your mind and body in preconception or pregnancy will help you prepare and provide an incredible base for you to be able to (re) connect across the birthing spectrum from preconception, pregnancy, birth and motherhood.
Practices that can help with your connection
Meditation - this doesn’t have to be sitting still in the same position for hours on end. 5 minutes can help you connect. Walking, in the shower or bath can all work.
Yoga - enables you to come into both your mind and body and reduces stress, all good things for preconception, pregnancy, birth and postpartum.
Movement - Whether it is walking, stretching, swimming, dancing, moving your body in a way that feels safe and right for you is such a powerful tool that can help you (re) connect with your mind and body, and your baby.
Hypnobirthing - tools and practices can help reduce your anxiety, increase your confidence and reduce interventions in your birth.
Sharing stories and journeys - whether it's attending a pregnancy circle and/or a cuppa and chatting with a friend, exploring your feelings with other women can be a really powerful way to (re)connect and build your self trust.
Acknowledging and working on past trauma - whether this be birth trauma and/or another experience, taking the time to explore this and accessing support to acknowledge, process and release what is not serving can deepen that (re) connection ahead of your birth.
Journaling - taking the time to write down how you’re feeling emotionally, mentally and physically can help to connect your mind and body. You can also use different forms such as art and collage in your journaling practice which can be a great visual to have up and around your birth and postpartum spaces.
Questions to help you start the process of connection
How is my pregnancy making me feel mentally and physically?
How do I want to feel during and after my birth?
Who can hold space for me to support my choices?
What actions can I take to put this into practice?
How can I support you?
If you would like to have a deeper dive and discussion into the power and importance of connection in your preconception, pregnancy, birth and mothering journeys with examples of how to create your own practice of connection, I offer Cuppa and Chat sessions where I hold space with and for you from the comfort of your own home.
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